by Lisa Jansen-Rees

Separation from loved ones is a fact of life in the military. Whether it's due to a field exercise, temporary duty or deployment, nearly everyone can expect to spend time apart from his or her loved ones.

How do parents set up and apply consistent discipline throughout constant change?

Many military families find that House Rules provide consistency for both parents and children since they apply no matter where your home is located or who is living there at the time. By following a few simple principles, House Rules are easy to set up, teach and enforce.

Start Early. It's never too late, but it's best to start early. House Rules are a set of expectations that children can clearly understand and follow. By three years old children can understand the expectations you have for their behavior.

Keep It Simple and Age Appropriate. Don't overwhelm young children with a list of fifteen rules and the consequences for violating each of them. The best house rules are the ones children can memorize and repeat back to you. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. Be helpful, not hurtful. As children grow they can understand and follow more. For example, family before friends, no TV until homework is done or everyone contributes on household chores.

Language is general, but examples are specific. House rules are guiding principles for behavior. There is no way you list every example when writing house rules, so don't even try. Treat others the way you want to be treated, for example, covers things like no hitting, no screaming, and use your manners as well as a number of other behaviors and actions. Look for language that describes over-arching principles.

Talk through and follow through on consequences. Children need to know the procedure when violations of House Rules occur. Many families find a three-part system effective. First, give a warning by reminding your child of the house rule. If the warning doesn't change your child's behavior, the second step would be to pause, make eye contact with your child and explain why their current behavior doesn't fit within the house rule and what consequence will occur if they continue on their current path. The third step, if the child's behavior still doesn't change, is to apply the consequence. Children should also know the range of consequences they can expect; including time outs, extra chores, a loss of TV, game or toy privileges. If you are working on a specific behavioral issue reward charts are an excellent motivational tool that doesn't have to cost a lot. Most children want the time and attention of their parent more than anything else. Look for and reward each child for the positive behavior you are trying to encourage.

House Rules Apply to Everyone No Matter Who is Home to Enforce Them. Children crave consistency, with themselves and in their sibling relationships. House Rules not only support consistent parenting and encourage the development of self-discipline; they act as an obstacle to sibling rivalry when applied to all who live in the house.

No matter where your military family calls home, and no matter how many children or parents are residing there at any given time, give House Rules a try. And don't forget to give yourself a reward for following them!