Military Life: Relax! Now, Take out the Trash
By Lisa Jansen-Rees
How true this is, especially of military life! And, as physicians have long recognized – there is an inexorable link between stress and illness. So if you want to be healthy, and keep your military family strong, it’s crucial to know how to properly take out the trash.
The first step is to identify your personal stress symptoms. Everyone responds differently to stress, and many people experience symptoms in several different categories including physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive symptoms.
Do you have headaches, tense muscles or stomach upset? Do you snap at loved ones or cry at the drop of a hat when you are stressed out? Do you smoke, drink, shop or eat to comfort yourself? How is your thinking affected by stress? Although normally a very positive person, I find myself stuck in a “doom and gloom” mode when things are really getting to me. No matter what your personal stress symptoms might be, think of them as an early warning system telling you it’s time to make a change. The trashcan is full, and it’s time to take out the garbage.
The second step is taking a realistic look at your personal stress triggers. What is it that regularly trips your trigger? For military families, answers spring instantly to mind – deployment, work, relationships, parenting or financial issues. Now, take a deeper look. Are there small daily hassles that act as your last straw? Take a calm look at what your trigger is, and what, if anything can be done about it. Can you alter or avoid that trigger? If you must simply accept it, can you change your perception in order to lower your stress level? For many people, learning to laugh at those last straw moments is an effective way to keep the trash from threatening to overtake their lives.
What about your stress management basics? We all do lots of things right, naturally. Are you eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise? Do you have realistic expectations of yourself and others? Are your communication and time management skills finely tuned? If not, then that is a great place to start making a difference in the amount of trash you’re generating.
Finally, you must learn about and practice achieving the relaxation response. It is the physiological opposite of the fight or flight response commonly associated with stress. Identified by Dr. Herbert Benson, the relaxation response has been likened to human hibernation. Where the effects of stress wear down our immune systems, the relaxation response boosts it.
There are activities which, when practiced regularly, can help you achieve the relaxation response. Deep breathing, stretching, prayer, meditation, progressive relaxation and visualization have all been shown to promote the response and can easily be practiced in just a few minutes a day.
So there it is – the 101 version of stress and relaxation – a necessity for surviving the unique challenges of military life. As you’re going through this process, don’t forget about the kids. A recent RAND corporation study commissioned by the National Military Family Association concluded that military teens experience more stress than their civilian counterparts. As parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our kids how to empty the trash of life before it piles up and overtakes their lives.
To learn more about military family life stress or relaxation techniques, contact Military One Source or your local Family Programs office.
