It’s the month of love again, when the world glows pink and fancy, “unexpected” flowers adorn desks and chocolate covers anything edible and heart-shaped. I love Valentine’s Day, and have defended it even when it did me oh-so-very-wrong. Sure, it’s commercial and silly (and often expensive); yes, card companies created it to bump up slumping first-quarter sales. Does any of that make it any less fun? I don’t think so.

The thing is, Valentine’s Day is just that—a day. There are 27 others to use up before they disappear, and what better way to show love than by spending each one performing a small act of charity? It’s a lesson any kid can stand to learn and any adult should try to teach. And it’s a great way to get lasting warm fuzzies, which, honestly, you can’t get from that heart-shaped box of candy you wiped out in one day.

The Girl is four, and although she has always shown a strong sense of empathy, the world is still a relatively small place at her age. Not a lot exists beyond the locations of her daily routine, and for her to imagine that life is anything less than uncomplicated and filled with car rides to the store and hours coloring at school is, well– unimaginable. For many children, though, life is complicated, and sometimes scary, and devoid of all the simple pleasure that being healthy and secure entails.

It is my opinion that nothing inspires greatness in a person like caring about another’s welfare, but how does one teach a four-year-old (or two- or ten- or twenty-year-old) the meaning of charity? By doing, of course. Chances are, you’re already teaching your kids this. We tell them to share and not to hit, to use kind words, to play nicely and say “please” and “thank you” when appropriate. We give them change to drop in Santa’s red kettle and help them collect donations for school functions. We repeatedly inform them that starving kids would gladly eat their broccoli.

To really drive the message home, and to create a habit of charitable and empathetic action in my own daughter, I’m spending February demonstrating and discussing kindness and giving with The Girl. Simple acts of sharing, such as sorting out our clothes and donating those we don’t wear or fit to a local shelter, cost nothing and can be done in an hour; giving a sad friend a hug or asking someone how they are feeling are even easier ways I can show her the meaning of kindness.

The idea is to set realistic goals. Will The Girl suddenly transform into a mini Mother Teresa? That seems unlikely, but I can reasonably expect—at least on occasion—for her to forego a new toy in exchange for a donation to someone in need. Research shows that it takes 30 days to break a bad habit or start a new one, so the shortest month alone won’t be long enough to create a life-long tendency toward compassion. It’s the perfect place to start, though; it is, after all, the month of love. 

Adrienne Crezo is a busy wife and mother who enjoys reading and biting off more than she can chew.